Pancake Recipe

In the past before I was a Mother and before one of my Mother job duties became sustaining my family by providing them with diverse, delicious and nutritious food, I really liked to cook. You may say, just feed them Mac and Cheese with some broccoli and call it good. But, alas, as my friends remind me, my standards are too high to serve and eat food that has been extruded, reduced to powder, shipped, stocked, bought and then rehydrated for dinner! I simply cannot do that when there are so many other delicious options and I am actually a good cook; though more recently I have been taking advantage of quick meals, especially at breakfast.

Breakfast is the worst for me. I have talked to friends who seem to not like making dinner, some hate making lunch, but for me it’s breakfast that I dislike. If it were up to me and it is to an extent, we would have greens and herbs with eggs or lentils or mushrooms or quinoa. I actually eat a variation on this theme most days. My kids however are not into it. I guess I never received the memo that tells me how to hold the line with my screaming child when they want toast for breakfast and I know we need to get to school, I need them to go to school and we do not have too much time to negotiate.

My daughter would actually eat lentils and greens for breakfast; my son, not so much. And he has me, all of us actually, when he screams we all move to rescue him merely to save ourselves, but this is not a sustainable or beneficial mode of operation. In order to avoid the conflict, I have chosen to make breakfast a little more simple, bread like (we are gluten-free) and with a sweet component, yet still incorporate protein and at least some fruit, it they eat it. I hear of families that eat vegetables for breakfast and I aspire to that goal. If anyone can offer me some suggestions I would appreciate them but for now we will stick to good enough and make sure to get veggies in at lunch and dinner.

Here is a slightly tweaked pancake recipe from my friend Rachel. You will need a vitamix for this one or another powerful blender (I am really into kitchen appliances!!).

½ cup Brown Rice

1/3 cup irish steel cut oats

¼ cup lentils (I use toor dal but you can use other lentils I suppose)

1 cup yogurt (I use goat yogurt)

Sprinkle of sea salt

2 tbs coconut oil (optional)

Place all ingredients in the blender and blend until smooth. Let sit in the blender overnight. Its ok, it wont go rotten.

In the morning add:

1 – ½ tsp baking soda

2 eggs

½ c almond, hazelnut flour or meal (or any other kind of flour I have use purple corn flour before and made purple pancakes which my daughter loved and my son, not so much!)

Vanilla at your discretion (1 tsp or so)

Blend until smooth and incorporated. Then make pancakes. All other pancake toppings (like blueberries or bananas) and additions optional!

Enjoy, I hope this makes your morning a little easier and with happy children!

 

 

 

Counterbalance: Opening to External Influence

I just finished reading the book Poser by Claire Dederer. I read this book on the recommendation of a friend, who emailed me not once, but twice urging me to read it. I was going to ignore the first email, but when the second one came I decided I had better check it out! (Thanks Stacy!)

Toward the end of the book Dederer references a teaching by one of her yoga gurus Katharine Seidel about yoga being a counterbalance for how she lives her life outside of class. I liked the idea and thought that much of my life has been moving towards and striving for balance, with maybe a bit of striving for perfection; not a desire for societal perfection, but to be my version of what perfect would be at the time.

In this striving I used my ideal image of myself as the counterbalance to where I was and the motivation to keep moving toward the ideal. This worked for a while, but eventually I exhausted the boundaries of my internal story. At this point, I got stuck, my energy stagnated and I lived in a low level frustration or trigger. This pattern has occurred multiple times in my life. Each time I found a way to get unstuck and keep moving forward thanks to some amazing teachers, friends, mentors and coaches. I found that unless I explore myself objectively through external feedback I really have no sense of balance except that in my own mind which is not objective.

As I stated above, friends are also amazing sources of objective feedback, if we can listen. Recently, on Mother’s Day, I was camping in the mountains with friends. In service of maintaining balance and staying present with our kids, three of us decided to go for a run together. Upon our return, children and adults in various stages of milling around the morning campfire, asked about the run, which I commented “it kicked my ass”, which is partially true. To which my dear and very insightful running partner said that I just did not know what my limits were and that I reserved part of myself in case I needed any energy for something later in the day, week, or year. She told me that I did not know my own capacity because I never let myself stretch beyond the physical boundaries of what I think I can do.

Whoa! That certainly was concise external feedback. I trust her and it resonated with me. In the past I would have probably gotten defensive or triggered using my history to make the case that I pushed myself as I have done many crazy, burly, adventurous physical feats but she was right, I never called upon my maximum within this realm.

Immediately upon the recognition that I did hold myself back I started scanning for all the other ways that I kept myself from giving my all. I noticed that this pattern exists everywhere in my life. And I knew to find my edge I was going to need help and support.

To me this is the beauty of coaching, whether it is with a friend, mentor, family member or actual coach. Being with someone when they see you, you who has a tendency to underestimate yourself, and they can see how you are holding yourself back and offer feedback to help you grow. For me coaching is counterbalance. It helps me move beyond the walls I create for myself and see me different, new, growing.

If you would like to discover your full capacity and expand into areas you never thought possible.  Invite perspective, the world needs all of you, be the inspiration!

Sign up and follow me as I challenge other beliefs in regard to money in my next blog post.

Step Out of Your Story

Tonight is a full moon, a ‘super’ moon in fact. I can see the moon because I am in Petaluma, California the land of clear skies and sun. Petaluma is also the location of my chosen teacher(s) at the Strozzi Institute.

Tonight I had Strozzi Bodywork by one of my teachers who has an amazing ability to relate to me, believe in me and be just the right container to draw me out, literally out of my story.

Tonight I realized that I exist outside of the two dimensional world that I have created for myself in my mind. I exist in three dimensions, the body of me has mass, and it is palpable. I realized that I have been a story that I was telling instead of a living person. Tonight, I stepped out into freedom, into my livingness unconstrained by the boundaries I held for myself by the way I constructed the world in my mind.

For those of you that are curious, I know that I have mass when I weigh myself and feel the circumference of my arms, legs and torso. And within the form of my body, there is a way in which I recede from the boundaries of my flesh and live inside a smaller version of myself, as if I am still 6 on the inside and that is the capacity I allow myself to live within. After tonight, I now know how to access more range of self. In this I feel more grounded and able to access my gifts, my inner critic is quiet, and I move with grace.

Strozzi Bodywork is a combination of various body oriented mediums including: Feldenkreis (slow movement to reintroduce body parts to the mind), Rolfing (deep connection through unsticking fascia and muscles to increase fluid movement), Breath Work (various influences, addressing the connection to our breath and ability to feel our life), Polarity Therapy (moving stagnated energy to create a new sense of internal awareness and capacity) and Somatics (creating connection between the nervous system and the mind to shed light on what is tense and what is relaxed in the body). All of these modalities have foundations in the work of Wilhelm Reich. Strozzi Bodywork brings attention to our true capacity, our body, and helps us feel what it is like to be fully within our physical structure and experience our aliveness.

This is powerful work that can bring forward emotions and sensations that have been long blocked off because at the time they occurred there was no help, no capacity and no outlet for their expression. It is scary and freeing to experience long held blocks and realize that we have been limiting our capacity through thinking we are the story we create in our minds, when really we are so much more.

Strozzi Bodywork is based on trust between the practitioner and the client. Through this relationship, the client is able to connect to their body. I have been receiving this type of body work consistently for three years now and have seen and felt amazing results:

• A rise in frequency of moving gracefully through change and transition,
• An increase in my ability to predict and sense my triggers,
• An exponential growth in my belief, value and confidence in myself,
• And, a calmness and greater capacity to be and stay in connection with others and connected to myself, especially when emotions peek.

As I reflect on my path I wonder how I could lie on a table, fully clothed, be touched at various pressure points on the back of the neck, the hand, shoulder, shin, be asked to breathe deeply and rhythmically, and then after a short period of time (less than a massage) get off the table and feel, look, be a newer improved version of myself. And I see this same transformation in colleagues, clients and friends who have experienced this work.

As I move toward the future I choose, I am no longer a prisoner of my inner critic. That internal story that has helped me to survive until now is not useful to me anymore. In connecting purposely and deeply with my body, I can listen to a new voice.

If you would like to step out of your story and into a fuller, more capable, confident, satisfied version of yourself, invite perspective, and a body/mind upgrade! Say ‘YES’ to the life you desire!

Do what you love to do…

This weekend, Neil was away at his Mother’s birthday party in Washington DC. The trip was a short one, leave early Friday return mid-day Sunday, for this reason we thought it would be less crazy if I stayed home with the kids while he went. Plus I am travelling starting Wednesday morning for six days and the turnaround would have been a little too much for me to retain balance!

Right now I travel more than Neil. When I come home I hear all these great stories about how the family watched movies, went out to dinner, played golf, hung out at the house, etc. All the things that Neil loves to do, and the kids love it too. I thought while he was away I would do some of the things they love to do with their Dad. My hope was that it would be a fun treat for them and something different for me.

Funny thing though, as we were out at the movies, going out for food, going to the scalectrix race car track,  they seemed not very psyched. I mean they had a good time but they were a little non-pulsed. On Sunday, after a full morning/afternoon of playing with their friends, we had some down time togehter. We sat on the couch, snuggled and I read them some books: this is something I love to do. We had fun, we were more connected. I could tell because once the activity was over they wanted more. Then we decided to go for a before dinner bike ride. As we were riding around, we were chatting away about spring, the leaves on the trees, the flowers, their school days, etc. The kids both commented on how fun it was. As we were zipping down a big hill, I heard behind me whoops and hollers of laughter. The both cried out, “Mom, this is awesome! You’re the best!” Music to my ears.

What I learned this weekend is that no matter how much my kids love an activity, if I am doing it for them, to please them rather than just thoroughly enjoying it myself, the kids (people) around me will sense it. Their enthusiasm will be luke warm. But when I do something I love, like reading and bike riding, people around me will sense that as well and the enthusiasm will be commensurate to the amount they sense coming from me.

Moral of the story: do what you love and people will be drawn to you. The more I grow into myself, the more I recognize what I do for others (hard not to do a lot for others as a parent), and what I do for myself. The more I feed the self-part, without neglecting my current responsibilities, the more capacity I build for myself, and the more fun I and others have when they are with me. Invite perspective, discover, feed, be what you love.

Triggers and partnership

The other day I cut my finger. Well, not just one finger but two. I was in a rush, well actually I was triggered. When I get triggered I start to move fast, I lose the ability to ask for help and you better get out of my way because if you are not helping (how could you, I have not asked) you will encounter a tense, brooding person who will not look you in the eye (and actually see you) and cannot sustain conversation outside of who does what and what goes where.

I had not connected being triggered with moving fast until, in debriefing with my loving partner my pre and post cut finger behaviors, he pointed out the connection. I stood there, tried to defend myself, failed, let go of my desire to be right, reviewed in my mind past circumstances and eventually said, “Damn, you are right. How come I never saw that before?” Since being revealed to myself (others have been aware of this pattern since they’ve known me), my world opened up and I will tell you how.

First, what is a trigger? Second, why is it important to understand them?

A trigger is:

Trigger  n : Something that acts like a mechanical trigger in initiating a process or reaction;  vb:  to initiate, actuate, or set off by a trigger  <a remark that triggered a fight>  < a stimulus that triggered a reflex>

Behaviorally, it is a habitual way of reacting to stimulus both in the body, reflected in external behaviors (something a video camera would catch, but banish that thought!) and in the internal conversation of our mind (which normally includes blaming someone else and/or always and never statements). This internal conversation helps shape our external behaviors. If I think Neil has done something wrong and I get triggered, I tend to get haughty, righteous and disgusted with him, which gets reflected in the shape of my body and in my ability to connect. Not much connection with someone who thinks this of you, eh? Is this how I want to be in relationship with the man I love? Uh, no.

If we understand how we get triggered in our body and mind we can begin to notice its frequency and the types of situations that ‘trigger’ us. We get perspective on ourselves which then gives us a choice. Instead of being blindsided by our own behavior, we begin to see it when it is happening, and with practice, before it happens.

Physiologically, it takes about 90 minutes for the body to rebound from the processes set in action post trigger: adrenal response, hormone release, engagement of the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight response) resulting in tension in the body, loss of deep breath and other body process which help us remain calm. How would you like to regain those 90 minutes and all those words you said and how you acted…?

In my body, ninety percent of my days, I move around untriggered: my body moves easily, feels relaxed, I can take big breaths, I breathe in my belly, and I physically take up space. Once triggered I shift: I get busy and I move and talk fast. My whole body gets tense. The tension begins in my diaphragm area and then my shoulders come up by my ears and roll forward, my jaw tightens, my eyes narrow, and my movements stay really close to my body. I lose my ability to breathe deeply and my breath stays high in my chest. These are my behaviors. With a video camera you can see the shifts, it is visible. Scary, eh? If I initiate these behaviors I start to feel triggered. It’s a physical habit. Cause and effect.

In my mind, I blame others. I loose connection with the present moment and create my reality by telling stories. I start saying always and never statements. “This person has always done me wrong.”, “They never turn in their work on time.”, “I never hear thank you.”, ‘I always do everything.” Recognize these statements? In our mind, we review all the instances that reinforce these thoughts, which keep our body stuck in the trigger.

Most of the time I cannot stop a trigger already set in motion, I am not that good, yet! In the past, when I got triggered, I would keep it to myself for if I revealed myself I would, die? Right? At least it felt like that. It is hard for me to reveal my weaknesses and unbelievably helpful, and this alone has opened up my world.

Since placing my awareness on knowing how and what triggers me, I can let myself and other people know that we are moving into trigger territory. Then once I get triggered I am not alone. Funny how everyone else knows when I am triggered, I am the odd one out, the person not in on the joke. Now, I know if I admit being triggered what follows is conversation, I am included, the help I need comes to me, and I can find humor (at least this is what I am working toward) in my behaviors. This is a remarkable gift for me and for those around me.

If we engage help, practice noticing, practice the behaviors we know help us calm down, then we can shift out of our triggers with grace and levity. Invite perspective.

Tarragon Shallot Dressing

I love French tarragon! If you have not heard of it I will tell you tarragon is the best: spicy, peppery, full bodied yet subtle and powerful at the same time. I fell in love with a long time ago when Jerry Traunfeld (an amazing NW chef who wrote The Herbfarm Cookbook) had me put it in a shrimp risotto, YUMM!!

Since them, my garden is full of tarragon! I buy more every year. Tarragon and mint are two of the most used herbs spring through fall in the garden. My tarragon from last year had just sprouted and I had gone to Swanson’s to buy more which was waiting to be planted when we headed off to visit my parents in Florida for spring break.

When I got to my parents, I did as I have done since I could reach the handle, I checked the fridge. Now that I am older I am no longer looking for ice cream, beer or kool-aid (didn’t your parents make that colored sugar water for you too!), now I look to see what they have that I can use up or not buy. This time I saw some shallots that looked sort-of new, but they are shallots right? Storage onions! I was determined to use them in the course of our stay.

Well I had my chance. We invited Neil’s brother, his wife and their four kids to dinner at my parents’ house. His brother’s family was also on vacation at the same time in the same town, what a treat! The kids had some cousin time, Neil had some brother time and I got to hang with my friend on the beach! My parents we gracious (they love to entertain) so we all got to have dinner together on the awesome lenai at their house; and I got to use the shallots!

My Dad was making the ultimate Florida fish feast. I was charged with supporting the meal with grain, vegetables and salad. When I was at the store I picked up some tarragon, because I was obsessed. I knew what I was going to do with the quinoa, green beans, and broccoli raab (thanks Kirk and Deb!) but I was tired of my winter dressing and wanted something new. I grabbed the i-pad and typed in tarragon shallot dressing.  This link came up http://www.alexandracooks.com/2009/01/04/prosciutto-endive-shaved-manchego-salad-with-tarragon-shallot-vinaigrette/ . Of course I augmented the dressing and the content of the salad and it turned out amazing!! Thanks Alexandra for the inspiration! Everyone loved the meal and dressing, and we all had a wonderful time!

This dressing is my new favorite. Having tried it out on some Seattle friends, it is a confirmed keeper as they loved it too! Enjoy this spring is here flavor. Here is the recipe:

Tarragon Shallot Vingarette

4 tsp champagne vinegar

1 tbs finely chopped shallots

½ tsp Dijon mustard (I prefer Grey Poupon)

¼ tsp honey (warmed slightly so it is liquidy)

¼ tsp sea salt

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

2 – 3 tbs finely chopped tarragon

In a ball jar or other jar with a lid, combine the vinegar, shallots, mustard, honey and salt. Let mixture macerate for 20 minutes (this is important!). Pour in olive oil, put cover on jar and shake a lot (or you can whisk in the olive oil, I am never patient enough to do this). Add tarragon and shake again. Taste and add more salt or pepper if necessary.  Dress overwintered garden greens or store bought lettuce and spinach combination. Enjoy!

 

 

 

Do More Without Doing It All

Today I was at my children’s school.  A friend saw me and asked if everything was OK. The overwhelm I felt inside showed on my face. I answered congruently, a newer practice for me, and said, “I am overwhelmed.” She hugged me and we moved to an area where we could talk. At this moment, I let her in. Just by walking with her, I let her help shoulder my burden, in this experience I could feel clarity and space beginning to open up. I did not realize how clamped down I had become. As we talked I shared the tasks I was juggling, none were different than anyone else’s, none were life threatening, none were unaccomplishable individually. Together though they were creating a constriction in my solar plexus, the area in the middle of my abdomen right below my sternum which was making my breath short, shallow and fast and beginning to create an ache in my mid back.

After the conversation with my friend I had made one decision which eliminated a bit of stress. Though I felt better, I did not feel totally settled. I was at a crossroad. I had a family responsibility to tend to, a personal commitment to my health to uphold and a commitment I made to people to follow through on. All of these commitments were colliding to occur at the same time, which made it hard for me to make a decision as I wanted to do them all. I bet you have never felt this way!

To top it off, I bailed on my morning meditation and yoga practice on this day. I had stayed up late the last few nights getting work done and decided sleep was more important than focusing myself. My morning practice is a routine that is grounding for me. In addition to having too many things to accomplish in one morning, I was also more agitated than usual.

For me, clarity often comes with a release: running, crying, biking, other vices, or an intervention of help (when I allow it and can see it as that). I have spent many years practicing doing it all myself that to ask for help does not even occur to me. Yet when I do ask or someone asks me, surprisingly I get help and feel better, then my family feels better and subsequently all of our other relationships. What I have noticed since practicing somatics (meditation, breath work, body movements, focused bodywork, and paying attention to my internal stories and thoughts) is that I am able to connect more easily to my body, trust its wisdom to help me understand what I need and which commitment is most important at that time.

This is what I did on this day. On my bike ride back from dropping the car which was pouring oil, on my way to yoga, I suddenly knew what I needed to do, my body knew, my shoulders relaxed and my breath deepened.  I was going home and honor my current commitment. My bike ride would serve as my yoga this morning. The relief I felt was amazing. I recognize that as I deepen my commitment to my practices I have more capacity to hold more, to ask for help, to be vulnerable in my not being able to do it all. Subsequently, I can do more, because I am not doing it all, funny eh!

Want this for yourself? I want it for you too!! Invite perspective, the time is now!