I was talking to a friend today and asked him how he was. He said he was between jobs. I was concerned as he is the sole provider for a family, so I asked what happened. He told me he had quit his job to take another in order to push his edge; to purposely bring himself to an unknown place as he believes this will shake things up and stimulate growth. In his mind, this shift will provide an expanded perspective which, though challenging, will be ultimately more rewarding than staying put for safety.
This was music to my ears as pushing edges is what I love to do. Though depending on the edge, pushing can be scary and I can and have backed away. Yet I find the longing that I have inside me to push and then to subsequently grow, is bigger than my desire to stay safe.
In this present leg of my development journey, fear is more present than ever before. In the past I have felt fear as an externally produced feeling: the fear of falling as I climb a sheer rock cliff, the fear of getting lost in a white out on a mountain, the fear of losing someone close to me, or the fear of being ostracized for my beliefs.
But this fear feels different; it lives within me. Follows me around every day, each step I take I cannot get away. It is not debilitating, thankfully, as I am simply noticing its presence and curious about what it has to teach me. But it is ever present. It is the same sensation I feel when I cry or feel love deeply or feel anger coming on.
I believe this fear is a doorway but I am uncertain of the destination. Even in my uncertainty I keep going as I have faith that if I stay open to fear, pain, happiness, anger, or whatever is present, it will teach me something I need on my path.
I think this fear is pushing me to be more accountable for a life that is of benefit and in service to all. Yet, I find leaving my safe, insular world to be present to this suffering, well, scary. I bet Rosa Parks felt the same way, a bit scared, when she stayed sitting in her seat after being asked to move. She stayed because she was “tired of giving in” and look what happened, thankfully, she helped change history.
I am always curious about people’s stories. The ones they have about their dreams, struggles and inspirations. They remind me that I am not alone, we all long to grow and be the best person we can be. They support and encourage me in my development process, of dropping into more feeling and letting go of my ‘shoulds’.
What is your edge that you want to push this year? What guides do you need as you step into your future? Are you listening for the ones that exist all around you? What is your greater purpose to serve the world?
Invite perspective. Open wide to the world, to your longing. Join us for a course to grow on your path. Who knows where this choice will take you.