When I was contemplating writing this blog, I was churning on the many different ways, ideas, and methods of making a decision. I was trying to make a decision on how to frame up making a decision! I was rummaging through the piles of knowledge, experience and practices I have in regard to decision making and my thinking brain, my prefrontal cortex, became cloudy.
I have learned that when I get cloudy it means that I am off track, trying hard to make wine out of water, but failing miserably.
At this point I had a choice. You know those moments, if you recognize them, when you decide to try something new rather than blunder through life like you usually do? Well, in full disclosure, I only recognized the moment because days earlier I had made the wrong choice, so it was clear to me what didn’t work. My choice was to take a time out to clear my head. My method of choice is meditation.
Somehow when I meditate, I can get clear really quickly. And this experience wasn’t any different. I thought why am I looking outside of myself for the answer when I already have my way inside? Have you ever had this experience? Of looking outside yourself, trying to find something that you value more than your own experience, simply to justify and bolster or give you courage to state what you already know.
Decisions are made from out gut. We can compile lots of reasons to validate them. We can draw on this article and that piece of data, but ultimately when we make decisions they come from inside us. Only are we deciding or are we allowing our shaping (and those who have shaped and continue to shape us) to decide?
In my process, I was trying to off load my decision for what to write about to other people, authors who I perceive to be the experts. Only they are speaking from their experience, and as data driven as it is, and even if it is from Harvard, it is not my method. Do you ever do that? Give up your ground to others to ‘make’ the decision for you? We all do.
What I am teaching on November 13th is a process to discover your method, and not just the spreadsheet categories of your decision making process. I work from the gut out. We start there and then apply our beliefs, desires and path from the inside out.
Sometimes this is not as easy as it seems. If we have never cultivated the skill of discerning our true voice from the voices of others, it can be awfully confusing to know who to listen to. It can be painful extracting the ruling parties from the throne of our mind. Those ruling parties could be our parents, teachers, advisors, partners and friends. They are the voices in our head that warn us about possible dangers to our choices. Yet, they might not be operating on current information, they could be protecting us from something that no longer exists in a form we need to fear.
Sometimes it is easier. Maybe we are already cultivating the path. We just need the right lens to see through in order to access all that we have been prepping for.
Join me on November 13th from 9 am to 1 pm for the last of the live Access Leadership Labs courses for the year. The online courses are available all the time. These live courses will undergo renovations and will look a bit different in the New Year. If you have a perspective on what you would like to see, I invite you to share. The perspective sharing goes both ways.